So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize