We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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