in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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