I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
