This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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