Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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