You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just forgot I was standing up.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
