This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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