Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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