Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My vagina is officially offended.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
