conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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