sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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