just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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