Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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