Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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