I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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