I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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