Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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