I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I need water and some morals
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
