So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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