their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We have so much sex to catch up on
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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