No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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