I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
