Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize