OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize