I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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