It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
