why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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