He disabled his match.com account in front of me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
