I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize