shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
