can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
