Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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