I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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