My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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