I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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