Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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