just tell him i said nine months
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
