She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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