So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
