Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
