Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
