Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
