and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
