so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
