I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
