I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
