dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
