So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
