I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
