Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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