You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
