Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
