I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Terrible idea I love it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
