Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
