i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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