"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
