Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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