I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There's always time for handjobs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
