I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
