you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
