i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize