If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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