Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize