so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
