carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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