I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
