the day after is always just damage control
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
