It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize