We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
