this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
