Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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