Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
