I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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