idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
