I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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