this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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