No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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