OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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