My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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