Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize