God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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