there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
