You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
