found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My dick has a subreddit
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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