we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
